Time...

I've never blogged before...so we'll see how this goes. I have a feeling this will turn into my "random thoughts space". You Have Been Warned.

Recently it's been made more and more clear to me exactly how prevalent time is. We use it to measure how long we have been doing something, how long since we've been doing something, how long until we start doing something, etc. Now you're thinking "Duh Allie! Point please?"
Well to someone who's trying to heal, time itself is very much the point. For any traditional injury (broken bone, skinned up knee, etc.) we get a time frame on how long it will take to heal: 10 weeks, 10 days..whatever the case may be. For broken emotions, broken heart, broken spirit, there's no such time frame, nor can anyone fabricate one out of thin air. "It just takes time." If I had a penny for every time I've heard that over the past month...well..I'd have a lot of pennies. I feel like time has gone by extraordinarily fast and the amount of healing that's taken place in that time frame has not been monumental. It has happened in small portions, yes. But I think self-esteem and self-worth take more time than anyone would prefer to bounce back from something like that. I hate that I gave up that power. I really do. And it's wholly and completely unfair that the next person(s) who comes along should have to pay for that. But I can't pretend to go back to the naivety and trust in human compassion that existed before, that's irreplaceable.

This is not meant to be something sad or morose..although I guess that's practically the only way you could feel after reading that. This is my starting point. I'm beginning again with a new application on trust and dignity in general, self respect and given authority, power and lack thereof.
And here...we...go.